book a week (part three)

the next installment of books. (i'm still pursuing the idea despite the $3 bill i racked up in late fees from the last round.) something i already had (my tried and true raison d'etre, that i realized i haven't read in a while.) something to prep me for my painting presentation on agnes martin. something design (just for pure fun, circa the year 2000.) two somethings to help me scratch harder at the surface of "plans," the spine of my current elements project. and some new yellow pages (which i won't read, obviously. but will most likely use for an art project, obviously.)

"self-reliance and other essays" - ralph waldo emerson
"in pursuit of perfection: the art of agnes martin, maria martinez, and florence pierce"
"design culture now" - national design triennial
1907 exhibition catalogue - architectural club of baltimore
"hand drawn worlds" - various architects and artists

connect in context: chuck klosterman edition

i was flipping through an old friend today when writing my cultural criticism essay for criticial inquiry, and rediscovered this gem:

"there are two ways to look at life. actually, that's not accurate; i suppose there are thousands of ways to look at life. but i tend to dwell on two of them. the first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is entropy. the second is that everything pretty much stays the same (more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even if we don't realize it. there are many mornings when i feel certain that the first perspective is irrefutably true: i wake up, i feel the inescapable oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window, and i am struck by the fact that i am alone. and that everyone is alone. and that everything i understood seven hours ago has already changed, and that i have to learn everything again. i guess i am not a morning person. however, that feeling always passes. in fact, it's usually completely gone before lunch. every new minute of every new day seems to vaguely improve. and i suspect that's because the alternative view - that everything is ultimately like something else and that nothing and no one is autonomous - is probably the greater truth. the math does check out; the numbers do add up. the connections might not be hard-wired into the superstructure to the universe, but it feels like they are whenever i put money into a jukebox and everybody in the bar suddenly seems to be having the same conversation. and in that last moment before i fall asleep each night, i understand everything. the world is one interlocked machine, throbbing and pulsing as a flawless organism. this is why i hate falling asleep."

-from the introduction to "sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs" by chuck klosterman

connect in context: sculpture

this was my response to a "serial abstraction" assignment for sculpture. the point was to grow or dilate sculptural form by combining materials (pvc pipes) in succession, with emphasis on attachment (drilling and dowels).


i didn't realize until i was way over my head with it the night before how big a role connecting played. the intensity of rushing to get it done, and not sure if it was actually possible, reminded me of this line from a post last week.

moving on...

ok. so i get these weekly inspirational emails from thinkarete.com. sounds cheesy, right? but in actuality, every time i open the email to find words that are totally applicable to my life at that point in time. here's what was in my inbox yesterday:

“Being stuck is not the problem. Staying stuck is.”

~ Genpo Roshi, 21st century Zen Master
from Integral Institute workshop, November, 2005

Dukkha. I was originally introduced to the concept by Genpo Roshi during his lecture on Big Mind. (Big Idea coming soon.)

Dukkha. The word is translated as “suffering” and is prominently featured in Buddha’s First Noble Truth.

The word has a much deeper meaning, however.

In classic Sanskrit, dukkha is used to describe a potter’s wheel that is stuck and screeching as it turns. Contrast this with its opposite, sukkha—which represents a potter’s wheel that is freely flowing.

The idea is that suffering occurs only when we’re stuck. Specifically, when our minds are stuck—when we can’t shift our perspective and take more spacious view of the world.

How amazing is that?

Reminds me of the flowing essence of the Tao, or even Flow, the state of optimal human experience defined scientifically by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Are you stuck?

Get unstuck. Stop the suffering.

Flow.

the past few days with this blog, and with life in general, i've been struggling to "rebound." how can i write about all of the things i love about being at mica, or the art i'm making, when it all seems so futile in context? because those are exactly the things that keep me going against the grain. i need those pieces in my life because i know they are building me up to something bigger. i need to be happy and see the good around me.


with that being said, i got to tour the gateway yesterday. it's pure genius. the goal of the building is to extend the boundaries of mica's campus to notorious north avenue. it's a powerful presence that begins to blur the lines between the mica bubble and baltimore.

i'm crossing my fingers that i will be able to call it home next year. for more than a few reasons (late night cafe, to name one), it seems like the right fit. (and also, if i lived in the meyerhoff, between eating and student activities, i would basically never leave the building.)

fyi: i took the top picture inside the brown building the first time i visited mica, almost a year ago, for their open house. my tour guide made a joke about brown being the target of a drive by shooting, but mica out smarted them and used bullet proof glass. i thought for sure after that one that there would be no way i could convince my parents to still send me here. funny how things work out.

timely

student activities had an event this past friday called "back to tha basicks." it was a hip hop 101 thing with lots of breakdancing, a graffiti contest, and an open mic night. to kick things off e the poet-emcee held a conversation on "the hip hop cultural revolution." timely is all i can say. i had met e back at the black panther symposium, and knew that i needed to connect with him.

emailing him had been on my back burner for the longest time. things happened, i never go around to it. so for me to see him again, after the week i've had, was just what i needed.

he does this open mic night called "the art of conversation" at the yabba pot every saturday. (yabba pot = delicious vegetarian food. i could totally become a vegetarian if i knew i could have that food for ever meal.) it's basically like the critique process for visual artists. a poet would perform, and then e would open up the floor for questions, comments, etc. the discussions the poetry prompted were pretty profound.

i didn't realize until e mentioned it, that the art of conversation is lost in america. we forget the power of words to bring controversial issues and questions up to hash out. i have a lot to hash out myself. but it's reassuring to know i'm not the only one thinking these things.

"they danced down the streets... and i shambled after as i've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn..."
-jack kerouac, from "on the road"

hope

baltimore is challenging me in ways i could never have imagined.

yesterday i saw a shooting. no shit. it totally shook me up. and i wasn't sure how to even process it all. i needed to debrief myself. i just started writing down the reasons why it bothered me:

-it shattered a false sense of faith (it took me awhile to find that word... but i think that describes it) in the city around me.
-it reinforced fear mentality that my parents were so adamant about when they visited
-my lack of control. i saw something happen right in front of my eyes and within a matter of seconds. and there was nothing i could do about it.
-it was where i walk everyday. completely unexpected.
-two people died. totally puts a new perspective on that number.
-i don't know what is happening now. kind of a hopeless/clueless feeling.
-i didn't know what to do in the situation. i've never been in that place before. do i run? walk the other way? stay and gather details? call 911?
-the sound of gun shots. the scariest thing.
-i'm scared to walk back that way again. because i'm worried it will all come back to me. (which might need to happen...)
-and on top of that... today there were at least two times as many sirens as usual. i was so on edge and uneasy. i couldn't focus in any of my classes. i felt like i was just drifting through with this major burden.

i was able to talk to stephanie about it tonight, which really helped. her persepctive is that mankind will always let you down. her hope is in christ. that view helped clarified my own. my hope is in mankind. i refuse to accept being let down. that's where my problem lies. i have nothing higher to place that faith in. and that's exactly where i'm stuck. placing blind hope in a hopeless situation around me. and i'm ok with that. someone has to do it.

"to be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. it is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. what we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. if we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. if we remember those times and places – and there are so many – where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. and if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. the future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory." - howard zinn

the thing about cities

"we need to invest in the cities of america. if we can spend
[billions of dollars] in iraq, we can spend some of that money
right here in baltimore."
- barack obama
from his stand up for change rally in baltimore


just some city snippits...